Uptown Barbie - this pretentious bitch Barbie is only sold at Canal Place.
She comes with Kenneth Cole 4 inch clunky shoes (actual size), an
assortment of real Kate Spade handbags, a take-out box from the Cheesecake Bistro and a mini BMW convertible.
N.O. East Barbie - this thick Barbie comes with 4-inch long
airbrushed curved nails, a blonde hair weave, excessive gold
jewelry and caps, and is also available with the 'Lil Kim
SUV, complete with automatic weapons. The miniature Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes
house uses burning lighter set sold separately. Options include the N.O.
East Nightclub Barbie which comes with a mini 9mm handgun and a Ray Lewis
St. Charles Avenue Barbie- this Barbie runs her own women's clothing and
accessories store on the Avenue... as a hobby. She graduated from Tulane
and was married the next day. Careful with this one, she ceases to function
when she finally finds out that Dr. Ken has been boinking one of his surgical
assistants since she had her first baby.
Westbank Barbie - this trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the
mini-SUV or mini-minivan vehicles, gets lost easily, and has no fulltime
occupation or secondary education. Available (and usually confused) at any
overpriced low-quality specialty store in Oakwood. Traffic jammin' cell
phone sold separately.
Waggaman Barbie - this special white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans
that are 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a mini Coors Light in
the can, a Hank Jr. CD set, can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick Ken's
ass when she's drunk. A mini pickup is also available with Rebel flag bumper
stickers and gun rack.
Westwego Barbie - this Barbie model features non-functional 10-inch
platforms, over 12 body piercings, 14 tattoos, purple-green hair color,
smells like an athlete, has no occupation, and is waiting on the curb for
the Uptown Barbie to return and pick her up.
Bourbon Street Barbie - this Barbie was previously a Trailer Trash Barbie,
but was recently displaced by a new 25-to-30-year old Barbie that is
actually a $80K/year Yuppie masquerading as a down/out artsy Barbie. Comes
with a full black wardrobe from area second hand stores.