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103 Percent
101 uses for an IBM All Jokes    Fwds Home
I hope you bought a clone and did not waste your money

1. Target practice.
2. Boat anchor.
3. Take apart, put cat in it, and roll it down a steep hill.
4. Tie to car bumper of a newly married couple.
5. Put cat inside, and then tie it to the bumper!
6. Pinata. 7. Birdcage. (Some modifications required.)
8. Trashcan.
9. Doghouse for your chihuahua.
10. Hamster cage.
11. Airline cat-carrier.
12. Bombing practice. (A rooftop or high window and Barney? Hmmm...)
13. Make it do cool stuff after being filled with Pyrodex and with cannon fuse attached.
14. Desktop PEZ dispenser.
15. Dirty sock hamper.
16. Hit it with an 18-wheeler. (I've actually seen the results of that one!)
17. Tell some dork who just bought it that the commands "DEL *.*" and/or "FORMAT C:" really do cool stuff.
18. Dip in liquid nitrogen, and throw it against a wall. (Wear those special insulated gloves!)
19. Cannibalize for parts that'll work on your Amiga or other non-IBM computer. (Yeah, right!)
20. Take it apart, use the chips for dominoes...
21. A coffin for your beloved (or not) pet.
22. Virus experimentation. (IBM = Infected By Michelangelo.)
23. Switch it with Ian Vail's Amiga. (He'd never know the difference... He'd ust figure that DOS 6. is some new version of KickStart.)
24. Rush-Limbaugh's-Do-It-Yourself-Toaster-Oven-Kit.
25. Use in experiments on "How Sandpaper Media Affects I/O Devices." (Both 5 1/4" and 3 1/2" floppies.)
26. Break the CAPS LOCK key on it, and sell it to Impact. (Or another KAPS LOCK Kommando.)
27. Give it to Beavis & Butthead. (They'd figure out something cool to do with it, like drop it from an overpass onto a moving car.)
28. Spittoon.
29. Tissue holder.
30. Disk storage box.
31. Porta-Potty. (Or chamber pot.)
32. Stand for your coffee maker.
33. Potato storage container.
34. A stepping box in "Step Training" exercises.
35. Compost storage unit.
36. CD/tape/record case.
37. Roll it down a steep flight of stairs at someone you hate.
38. Infect them with viruses at your (heh!) favorite local computer store.(The "Stoned" virus comes to mind...)
39. Ask people to donate them for a "Monster Truck Computer-Crushing" night at your local dome or fairground...
40. Let your wife/girlfriend/mother bitch at it.
41. Put XXX-rated .GIFs on Pikey's PC, and let her bitch at both of thm.
42. Anti-Stat spray storage case. (Inside joke.)
43. Use it to upload XXX-rated .GIFs to a BBS run by someone who is really into religion. (This is good! Try renaming the .GIF files toan innocuous filename. For instance: you have a .GIF called SPREADME.GIF. Just rename to something like MOUNTAIN.GIF. Someone lse might think it's scenery, and D/L it. And what scenery it is! When they do, they're in for a shock!)
44. Fisherman's bait box.
45. Footstool.
46. Magazine case.
47. Donate it to Goodwill or Deseret Industries. (You get the idea; they get all kinds of worthless things.)
48. Low budget briefcase. (Just attach handle.)
49. Target on a grenade range.
50. Tetherball. (Use with baseball bat.)
51. Wastebasket for used condoms at the "No-Tell Motel".
52. Soldering iron workstation.
53. Something to test that special homemade pipe-bomb on.
54. Late Night with David Letterman. (Stupid Computer Tricks.)
55. Paint it black, and leave it in the middle of a road at night.
56. Case for your home-made cable channel descrambler.
57. Desk stand for your CB or HAM radio.
58. Use it in place of the paper bag for your ex-wife/ex-girlfriend.(Hehehe!)
59. Speaker box for the speakers on your stereo system.
60. Litter box for kitty.
61. Mailbox-baseball practice target.
62. Monitor stand. (Perfect for use with the A5/A6/A12/CD-32!)
63. Medical waste container. (Abortion clinics! Ewww... Nastay!)
64. "Hole" for frisbee golf.
65. Storage case for Empty Prophylactic's K-Y jelly.
66. Breadbox.
67. More target practice.
68. Something to throw at that cop car that's chasing you.
69. Airline barf bag.
70. Portable toilet. (!)
71. Camp stove.
72. Ammo can.
73. Penny collection container.
74. Modem stand.
75. Ant farm.
76. Recycling. (It's a waste of metal and plastic. Recycle it today!)
77. Empty Prophylactic's makeup case.
78. Beer cooler. (Just fill with ice.)
79. Armor plate replacement for Iraqi tanks.
80. Box for junk parts. (As if it wasn't already!)
81. Compost container.
82. Super Ginsu 2 knife demonstration material.
83. Freedom Arms optimum penetration test material. (They make an awesome .55 magnum handgun!)
84. Potty-training toilet.
85. Weight drop test for Timex watches.
86. Cremation urn.
87. Toy box.
88. Printer stand.
89. Storage box for Lorena Bobbit's pecker collection.
90. Cockroach trap.
91. Pet feeder.
92. Toilet paper dispenser.
93. Kindling box.
94. Handgun case.
95. Mailbox.
96. Skunk trap. 97. Birdhouse.
98. Scratch paper holder.
99. Snake cage.
100. A "11 uses" list.
101. Nothing! (It's useless!)

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Oct 23/2019 - 12:57am EST